Coping with a breakup is never easy, but it can be even worse in college. Not only have you just had your heart broken, you still have to show up for class (no staying in and watching sappy movies all day!), write papers and study for exams.
If you’re wondering how anyone can possibly cope with a breakup in college, these five major rules are a good place to start.
1. Block All Access to Social Networks.
Blocking the social networking factor is probably the first thing to do if you’re figuring out how to cope with a breakup. It’s a huge step that takes less than 60 seconds to accomplish.
The last thing you need now is to read Facebook updates about your ex. It’s also good insurance for your future sanity, since you don’t want Facebook alerting you to the fact that your ex is in a fantastic new relationship just three months down the line.
It’s time to pull the plug: erase all traces of your ex from your social networking sites, from Facebook to Twitter. That said, I know how hard it is: I once actually canceled my Facebook account altogether rather than deal with my various connections to my ex.
If you go that route, Facebook should save your information. When you reactivate your account later, you will still have all the same contacts – so be sure to delete the ex!
2. Erase All Memories.
Okay, you can’t go total “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” (I wish!) and literally erase all your memories of your ex, but you can delete some of the memory triggers.
Nix all photos, notes, stuffed animals, old t-shirts – anything related to your ex that is just going to call up painful memories. If you really can’t bear to trash it, get a friend to help – you can make a night of it: trashing your ex’s things followed by a fun night with friends.
On a similar note, post-breakup is a great time to redecorate your dorm room. It gives you something to do and helps get rid of memories related to your ex in your space. Make it a brand new space that’s just for you.
3. Focus on Schoolwork.
Focusing on schoolwork might seem like the most impossible step when you have to cope with a breakup, but it’s also one of the most important. Sure, you can have a night to wallow (and take care of steps one and two!), and you will definitely have moments when you get totally bummed out — but going to class and studying for your exams is a huge must.
In fact, it will actually help you cope with your breakup.
First, it gives you something concrete to schedule your time around so that you don’t spend all day sleeping or bumming yourself out by reading old emails (which you should have deleted by now anyway!).
Second, even in the crisis times of a breakup, you have to go to class to keep your grades up.
Third, doing something productive will help get your mind off your breakup and back on your studies. Consider it a good distraction, if nothing else.
5. Get Active
Post-breakup all you may want to do is watch Rom-Coms and veg out on ice cream. While allowing yourself some time to mop isn’t a bad thing, when you’re ready to start moving on one of the best things to do is literally get moving.
Whether that means hitting your campus gym, going on a run, or just taking a long walk, getting active can help you start to heal. For one thing, exercising is a great distraction. It’s hard to think about other things when your pushing your body physically.
For another thing, exercise is a proven way to release endorphins which make you feel happier. And lastly, getting in shape will help you feel better about yourself. As your self confidence grows, you’ll soon be asking yourself, what ex?
4. Reconnect with Friends and Family
Sometimes relationships can be all consuming and we often sacrifice time with friends and family to spend more time with our significant others.
One of the best ways to cope with a relationship in college is to reconnect with those friends and family members. Make plans to hangout with your roommate on the weekend or grab lunch with classmates. Nothing helps heal a broken heart like a good laugh with friends.
Giving the fam back home a call can also be beneficial. You’re sure to receive some love and learning what everyone else has been up to can help you get out of your own head for a bit.
If the above steps on how to cope with a breakup aren’t having much of an effect, you may just have to wait. Getting over an ex takes time.
However, if you’re having trouble keeping up with school, you can try going to a professor’s office hours and discussing deadline extensions. Always be sure to talk to someone if you’re seriously struggling.
In addition, chatting with family and friends can be an automatic pick-me-up and a big help.
What are your best tips on how to cope with a breakup?