Now that you’re beginning college, your relationship with your parents is bound to change. You’ll no longer be living under their roof, which means that a lot of the rules that used to apply to you no longer do! Does that sound like a relief? Not to some.
Many students, both those studying internationally as well as those studying only an hour from home, cling to their parents when they first begin college and never learn to be fully independent.
Don’t let that person be you! When you’re preparing to move, make sure you read this list of things not to do in order to get along with your parents in college while still gaining your own sense of self.
1. Don’t Let Your Parents Decorate
When you move to college, don’t let your parents decorate your dorm or off-campus apartment! The whole idea of living on your own means breaking away from what your parents have decided for you.
If it’s allowed, buy some paint that they’d never let you use at home, hang some posters of bands they don’t listen to and snag some new sheets with a print that you like. Getting along with your parents means easing up on how much control they have over you. This is a great place to start!
2. Don’t Bring Your Parents to Class
I understand, you’re nervous. But bringing your parents to class with you is a huge mistake. You don’t need them to hold your hand — being on your own and navigating your way around the campus as well as the classroom is a part of the college experience. This is not a place for parents!
Besides, do you really want to be that kid that everyone remembers as the mama’s boy/girl who couldn’t let go?
3. Don’t Call Your Parents 20 Times a Day
Once your parents have finally left campus and you’re alone for what may be the first time, it’s likely that you’ll be tempted to call them at the drop of a hat. Is your schedule not working out like you had hoped? Is your roommate annoying you? Calling your parents to complain about it isn’t going to solve the problem. Instead, get in touch with someone (like your RA or student counselor) who can help.
The main trick to having a healthy relationship with your parents is allowing yourself to be independent from them. Set boundaries and schedule visits and calls in advance — and stick to your own rules! Though it may be tough at first, you will make friends quickly and see that being on your own isn’t as scary as it seems.