How NOT to Smother a New College Roommate
As you start college in the US, you may be relieved to find that you get along wonderfully with your new roommate. While it’s great to be fast friends, you also have to live together, which makes this relationship different from a typical friendship.
For this reason, try to find the balance between being a friend and not overwhelming your new roommate with your presence every second of every day!
Otherwise, you risk getting tired of each other before the first round of finals even comes around.
Find Other Friends to Hang Out With
While your friendship with your new roommate doesn’t have to end once you leave the room, you should avoid spending all your time with him or her. You will see plenty of your roommate in your residence, so spending every moment together outside of the dorm may cause you to get sick of each other.
Most likely you and your new college roommate will not have many classes in common so this is a good opportunity to make some new friends. Try striking up a conversation about the latest reading assignment with the girl who sits next to you in Lit class or, if you recognize someone from class that also lives in your dorm, ask if he wants to walk to class together.
In fact, another great way to find more friends is by inviting other people from your dorm floor to dinner instead of always going only with your roommate. In addition, if you go to social gatherings with your new roommate, avoid standing in a corner gossiping with him or her. This kind of behavior can appear closed-off, and deter others from approaching you. Instead, get social at gatherings and make the rounds, saying hi to people who look friendly.
Take a Hint from Your Roommate
If your new roommate is feeling smothered, you will probably notice some clues. This is especially true if you are constantly together, since few people can hide their real feelings all the time.
If your new college roommate begins having mysterious plans nearly every time you enter the dorm, he or she might just be trying to get some space. You can try to solve the problem by finding something else to do for a couple of hours. This may be the perfect time to hang out with any new friends you have made or check out that on-campus coffee house you saw a flyer for in the cafeteria.
Also, if your roommate has a guest over, such as a significant other or an old friend, you should give them some time alone. Of course, if they all seem excited to talk to you and include you in their plans, you can feel free to stay. But they may eventually want some privacy to catch up on old times or just hang out alone.
It can be challenging to walk the fine line between getting along with your new roommate and suffocating him or her with your constant presence. But heeding this advice may allow you to stay friends with your new roommate long after college ends, rather than letting the friendship fizzle out before the first semester is even through.