Congratulations to SoRi Jang, the winner of University Language Services’ first annual scholarship essay contest! She will receive a $500 scholarship to use when she gets to college.
SoRi’s story takes her across the ocean several times, from Korea to Ohio, back to Korea and again to Ohio. She learned to adjust in each country, but it wasn’t until she returned to America that she realized the extent of her strength and independence.
Winner
SoRi Jang
Centerville (Ohio) High School
“I accidentally spilled water!” I shouted to my friend. I sat down on a big rock by the sidewalk and refused to go home. Other kids walked by and, eventually, my friend left me too. I remained there until everyone was out of sight; then I started home.
My memory of first grade consists of me peeing my pants. When I was little, I was extremely clumsy and mischievous; I spilled everything, broke my toy, hid milk and vitamins inside my tiny desk drawers, which my mother found out due to the rotting stench of the milk. However, I changed when our family moved to the States in my second grade.
I barely knew my ABC’s when I came to Ohio. But, I quickly learned English and found myself indulging in books. Because the library was less than a five minute walk from our apartment, I went there all the time – my all time favorite, Black Beauty and Black Stallion. Through reading, I felt myself bloom with dreams and imagination. I became a different child, exuberant and active. I did well in all my classes and was voted class president in fifth grade. At that time, I was living in a fairy tale where nothing could possibly make me frown. Then our family moved again to Korea.
My dad is in the South Korean army, so our family was somewhat adapted to the frequent move. Once back in Korea, I was forced to adjust and adapt myself to the new surroundings; “fitting in” cost me my personality. I was expected to not raise my hand in school, to just attentively and respectfully listen as my teacher talked, to not stand out but to blend in with everyone else. When I got to middle school in seventh grade (in Korea, seventh grade is the first year of middle school, instead of sixth grade) I already knew that I had to keep quiet and attract as little attention from the teachers as possible. This survival tactic had already grown into me and I felt no more discomfort in suppressing my nature. Fortunately, I found an outlet that prevented my spirit from diminishing: friends. With close friends, I could bring out that spirit I had acquired back in the States, and I was also lucky enough to befriend many great people. Moreover, I started to understand the importance of relationship with people around me. However, the balance of my life started to break when my friends took over too much portion of my life. At the time, friends were everything to me and my life evolved around others rather than myself. I lost focus as to what my dream was and floated around insecurely, dependently. When I first started middle school, I was filled with goals and I did fairly well in school. But as time passed, I lost interest and motivation to excel and push myself. I made myself mediocre and viewed myself as mediocre, and when this shameful thought surfaced, I blamed the world, my surroundings, society; everything else but myself. I fell into an extremely ignorant state of mind and felt at ease for ignoring everything. Then, after my first year of high school in Korea (tenth grade), my parents suggested that I study abroad by going back to the U.S.
In 2005, I came back to Ohio, a place where my childhood was well nurtured, a place where I kept my dreams. I was not afraid. Not I, the kid who had an experience of living in many different places. But, after a couple of days, this sentiment changed drastically. I could not open my locker at my new school for the first couple of days; I did not have friends to eat lunch with; most terrifyingly, I could not make my mouth open to spill out the English I remembered from my three years of elementary schooling in the States. My almighty confidence soon took a refuge of its own, and a sudden realization that the fairy tale I had left behind as a kid no longer existed struck me. Yet, after a dark, mean storm comes rainbow filled sunny sky. As I befriended varieties of people in my new high school, I started adjusting to the new environment, and, this time, I made sure my life’s balance was just right. This time, I found myself motivated to learn; I found myself dreaming and believing in those dreams once more. Best of all, I discovered my passion: chemistry. In less than three years, I achieved much more than I had dreamt of.
The American school that I am attending currently definitely served as a catalyst to heighten my mental growth. More liberating, culturally diverse environment as well as encouraging teachers was all part of that catalyst. However, I can not say that Korean school was lacking and confining. Rather, I believe it was me. I believe that I was not ready to grow at that time. Nevertheless, what matters to me the most is that I no longer feel lost or insecure. I am no longer floating around passively, hoping that someone will make me feel safe. I am stronger and more independent than I ever was. I still cannot say I have found myself entirely, but I can say that I am on my way, with a good start. So today, I am still skipping down my life’s road, humming a tune, thankful for the sun that is shining on me at the moment.
We wish SoRi all the best as she continues to pursue her dreams! We are sure she will continue to grow and learn more about herself thanks to her education in two different countries and cultures.
