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How to Cope with a Breakup in College


"Sweethearts" by Scott Ehardt

Coping with a breakup is never easy, but it can be even worse in college. Not only have you just had your heart broken, you still have to show up for class (no staying in and watching sappy movies all day!), write papers and study for exams.

If you’re wondering how anyone can possibly cope with a breakup in college, these three major rules are a good place to start.

1. Block All Access to Social Networks.

Blocking the social networking factor is probably the first thing to do if you’re figuring out how to cope with a breakup. It’s a huge step that takes less than 60 seconds to accomplish.

The last thing you need now is to read Facebook updates about your ex. It’s also good insurance for your future sanity, since you don’t want Facebook alerting you to the fact that your ex is in a fantastic new relationship just three months down the line.

It’s time to pull the plug: erase all traces of your ex from your social networking sites, from Facebook to Twitter. That said, I know how hard it is: I once actually canceled my Facebook account altogether rather than deal with my various connections to my ex.

If you go that route, Facebook should save your information. When you reactivate your account later, you will still have all the same contacts – so be sure to delete the ex!

2. Erase All Memories.

Okay, you can’t go total “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” (I wish!) and literally erase all your memories of your ex, but you can delete some of the memory triggers.

Nix all photos, notes, stuffed animals, old t-shirts – anything related to your ex that is just going to call up painful memories. If you really can’t bear to trash it, get a friend to help – you can make a night of it: trashing your ex’s things followed by a fun night with friends.

On a similar note, post-breakup is a great time to redecorate your dorm room. It gives you something to do and helps get rid of memories related to your ex in your space. Make it a brand new space that’s just for you.

3. Focus on Schoolwork.

Focusing on schoolwork might seem like the most impossible step when you have to cope with a breakup, but it’s also one of the most important. Sure, you can have a night to wallow (and take care of steps one and two!), and you will definitely have moments when you get totally bummed out — but going to class and studying for your exams is a huge must.

In fact, it will actually  help you cope with your breakup.

First, it gives you something concrete to schedule your time around so that you don’t spend all day sleeping or bumming yourself out by reading old emails (which you should have deleted by now anyway!).

Second, even in the crisis times of a breakup, you have to go to class to keep your grades up.

Third, doing something productive will help get your mind off your breakup and back on your studies. Consider it a good distraction, if nothing else.

Still Struggling?

If the above steps on how to cope with a breakup aren’t having much of an effect, you may just have to wait. Getting over an ex takes time.

However, if you’re having trouble keeping up with school, you can try going to a professor’s office hours and discussing deadline extensions. Always be sure to talk to someone if you’re seriously struggling.

In addition, chatting with family and friends can be an automatic pick-me-up and a big help.

What are your best tips on how to cope with a breakup?



2 Responses to “How to Cope with a Breakup in College”

  1. Bert Says:

    Good article. Any breakup is hard for both parties. If you were to ask me if men are able to deal with breakup better than women, I’d say to each his own. We all have our own different levels of handling things and very much dependent on our character, attitude and support system. For a loner, keeping things to himself bottled up will find it harder and longer to go through the process. For somebody who is surrounded with family and friends finds it better to cope. Question is, can we avoid breakups? Unless there is totally nothing between parties, I think we can work towards that goal. There are two major reasons for breakup. One is that either the man or the woman or both try to change each other to what their ideal is. Acceptance of who we are together with our good and bad points is crucial. Major on the positive instead of the negative and recognize the gift or our uniqueness. Another major mistake is going into a relationship with the motive of getting something from it. Give and it will be given back to you, as the saying goes. To give to each one is the best motive or intent. If we continue to withdraw from each other, the time will come we go bankrupt. If we continue to deposit to another, time will come, each one will have an overflowing supply of love. Let the baggage we bring into the table be healed thru time. Carry each others baggage! Pls. visit my website at http;//howtocopewithbreakup.com and share your thoughts. We can all learn from one another.

  2. Reyah Says:

    I am really having hard time to come out of this pain. He dumped me for other girls. as we are neighbours i see them almost everyday it is so painful. Also my exams are very near i feel i am broken and can’t stand up again ever.

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