How NOT to Smother a New College Roommate
As you start college, you may be relieved to find that you get along wonderfully with your new roommate. While it’s great to be fast friends, you also have to live together, which gives a different dynamic to the relationship than a typical friendship.
For this reason, try to find the balance between being a friend and not overwhelming your new roommate with your presence every second of the day! Otherwise, you risk getting tired of each other before the first round of finals even comes around.
Find Other Friends to Hang Out With
While your friendship with your new roommate doesn’t have to end once you leave the room, you should avoid spending all your time with him or her. You will see plenty of your roommate in your residence, so spending every moment together outside of the dorm may cause you to get sick of each other.
Surely you and your new college roommate do not have many classes in common. If this is the case, keep an eye out for classmates you may get along with so you can walk to class together. If making eye contact and smiling at classmates does not work, ask around your dorm floor to find out if any class schedules match yours.
In fact, you might consider inviting others from your dorm floor to dinner instead of only going with your roommate every night. It is nice to have someone to sit with in the dining hall, but it is even better to have a few friends to sit with!
In addition, if you go to social gatherings with your new roommate, avoid standing in a corner gossiping with him or her. This kind of behavior may scare off other potential new friends since it can be intimidating. Instead, get social at gatherings and make the rounds alone, saying hi to people who look friendly.
Take a Hint from Your Roommate
If your new roommate is feeling smothered, you will probably notice some clues. This is especially true if you are constantly together, since few people can hide their real feelings all the time.
If your new college roommate begins having mysterious plans nearly every time you enter the dorm, he or she might just be trying to get some space. You can try to solve the problem by finding something else to do for a couple of hours. This may be the perfect time to hang out with any new friends you have made.
Also, if your roommate has a guest over, such as a significant other or an old friend, you should give them some time alone. Of course, if they all seem excited to talk to you and include you in their plans, you can feel free to stay. But they may eventually want some privacy to catch up on old times or just hang out alone.
It can be challenging to walk the fine line between getting along with your new roommate and suffocating him or her with your constant presence. But heeding this advice may allow you to stay friends with your new roommate long after college ends, rather than letting the friendship fizzle out before the first semester is even through.